Eloketh

Back in Business

2009-12-17T05:20:45Z

Ahem…hello? Is this thing on? Yes?

Good.

Right. Now where was I?

The virus. Right. Well, I think I managed to nuke the sucker. It’s still early days, and like a convalescent patient, I have to monitor my computer’s vital signs very carefully for a bit. But the overt symptoms are gone, and its overall health has improved considerably. Like the falling man said at the 25^th floor, so far, so good.

In case you’re interested, the bugger that got me was a Trojan that installed a rootkit, and a very clever one it was. I ran a couple of dedicated rootkit cleaners that found nothing before running the one that finally found it and cleaned it. And as is so often the case in life, I had a little help from my friends. Some days it’s very good to be a geek with geeky friends.

I plan to eventually do a post with a more detailed rundown of the virus and how I managed to get rid it, but for now, I’ll just say it’s a relief to have my system mostly back to normal. Soon I might even start using my computer for fun again. In the meantime, I am slowly moving forward with various backup and preventative strategies that will hopefully help me next time. Because there’s always a next time. As the old saying goes, the only battle that matters is the next one.

In other news, I saw Neil Gaiman yesterday. I have a couple minor regrets - I forgot to bring my camera, and I couldn’t find a copy of Absolute Sandman Vol 1 to buy in time for him to sign. But overall, it was an absolutely awesome event. Neil’s hair is everything they say and more. Seriously, Neil was gracious, friendly, charming, and above all, a consummate storyteller. He was a pro at handling an audience, and basically had us all in the palm of his hand.

It was a bit surreal to see Neil in person. You read about an author for so long and you begin to think of them as a sort of fictional character themselves. I was half expecting him to simply appear before us, perhaps with a bit of a Star Trek transporter-like effect. Or slowly descend from the glowing centerpiece, Dream-like, all dark flowing robes and dark twinkling eyes. But not so. He just walked out into the centre of the room, like a regular ordinary person. With wild crazy hair.

Neil read from one of his newest books, Odd and the Frost Giants. It turns out he does a remarkably good impression of a bear, if a bear could speak that is. Afterwards, he answered questions that had been submitted earlier by anyone who wanted to. He treated every question with great courtesy, and was never curt or anything but candid. He talked about his longtime dream of beekeeping that was finally fulfilled after many years of heartfelt yearning. He also spoke of the contest that we had won, and that he had wanted it to be fair because, to paraphrase, “if it had been simply ‘randomly’ chosen, then I can tell you that I very likely wouldn’t be in Winnipeg…in December.” That last he said with a smile, of course.

The audience teased him back, one person saying that it was simply a bit brisk out. “Brisk?!!!” Neil said incredulously. “Oh, right.” His expression was quite priceless. Just for some background, yesterday was the coldest day of the year so far – hovering around minus 40 degrees Celsius, with the windchill. So yes…just a little bit brisk.

I waited for quite a while to get Neil’s autograph afterwards. And I was one of the lucky ones, too. I was in the #3 section. They were at least 6 sections, and I was quick to get in line when the number was called, so the line of my fellow 3s stretched way back behind me. I got out of the store at around 10:30pm. I’m guessing Neil signed until at least 1:30am. He’s a trooper, no doubt about it.

As for my 30 seconds with Neil, I’m afraid I was mostly mute. To be fair, I hadn’t eaten in 11 hours (partly my fault), I had been standing for over 6 hours, and I was pretty sure that at any moment I was about to start hallucinating. In any case, Neil had just been given tea, and I was content to simply watch the quiet byplay between Neil and his assistant. He then took my two books, glanced up once to make eye contact, made a nice doodle of sorts in one, added a brief comment pertinent to each book alongside his signature, and then said something like “thanks”. I said “thanks” back, and that was that.

But it was still pretty cool.

In hindsight, I’m just as glad that that was the way things played out. What can you say to an author that you hold in such high esteem in 30 seconds or less? Can you tell them anything of real value? Can you really do anything more than hint at the impact they have had on your life? I mean, mostly I think that all you can come across is a drooling lunatic, assuming you make any impression at all. I’d rather be instantly forgotten, honestly, and have had one brief, quiet moment with someone whose work I respect. That’s enough for me.

But I still want an autographed Absolute Sandman Vol 1, dammit. And my own photo of Neil.

Well, like I said earlier…there’s always next time.

From Beyond the Grave

2009-12-08T03:01:04Z

My computer is very, very sick. I've been fighting a nasty computer virus for about a week now. This thing blew through all my defenses like a hot knife through butter, and thumbed its nose at every anti-malware product that I could get ahold of.

This morning, my computer died, and I thought that was that. But it appears that there is some life in the old lady yet. Using my dark IT sorcery, I have managed to fan the small spark of life that burned yet within her corpse.

She is not dead, but not really alive. By my will alone I have managed to get this far, to communicate two simple messages.

1) I shall be away from the online world for a time I cannot yet ascertain. It might be awhile. This virus is tough. So I might be incommunicado for a while.

2) A warning: this thing took my computer down with ease. It can take down yours. This might be an excellent time to back up things that you cannot live without. Let my suffering serve some good, at least.

I don't have much time. The war beckons, and I must return to battle. I may be bloodied, but I'm not yet beaten.

And I'm not done with this bastard yet.

The Master of Dreams Cometh

2009-11-24T05:12:32Z

Neil Gaiman is coming to Winnipeg.

Neil. Frakking. Gaiman. Is coming here.

I’ll let you think about that for a moment.

Okay, enough thinking. Do you know how cool that is? Think of the coolest thing that you have ever imagined, no matter how impossible that might be. Like that dream you had with the unicorn penguin with rainbow wings and the chocolate fountain of youth. Yeah, that one. This? Cooler than that. Infinitely cooler.

I would squee, but that would be most unmanly. So instead, I will merely say that I have internally ruptured something from sheer joy. My awesome meter overfloweth with awesome. My nipples explode with delight.

I think you all get the picture.

In my own personal pantheon of the coolest writers ever, there’s King, there’s Lovecraft…and there’s Gaiman. And not necessarily in that order.

One month.

And then he will be here.

Squee!

And So I Return

2009-11-04T02:41:46Z

Back from New York. And past the Halloween madness that was last week. It all seems a bit like a dream.

For the record, New York was unreal. Un-freaking-real. Every street holds a thousand stories, and around each corner is a new bit of wonder. I could have easily spent twice as much time there as I did…if I could have avoided burning out. Which, truthfully, is somewhat doubtful. An amazing place, but though it burns twice as bright as most others, it also burns twice as fast. I was quite happy to come back home. Ironic, that others go on vacation to relax, while I return home to do so.

So. Some notable sights and events that I saw and did while I was in New York. Let’s see. Went to the top of the Empire State Building. Wandered through a good part of Central Park. Spent plenty of time in Times Square. God, but I love Times Square. If there’s a beating heart of the world, New York is it – and if New York has a beating heart, that place is Times Square. Just being there is intoxicating. The living center of civilization. Of the universe. I never failed to feel that way.

Shopped at Macy’s (which already had their Christmas section on display), hit the Metropolitan Museum, The Museum of Modern Art, and the Guggenheim. The former two are big – really big. Like, I-lost-a-football-field-in-here-somewhere big. Wandered along Fifth Avenue and Madison Avenue. Saw the Big Piano in F.A.O. Schwartz. Caught some plays: Hamlet with Jude Law, Wishful Drinking with Carrie Fisher, Oleanna with Bill Pullman and Julia Stiles, Avenue Q with…er…a bunch of Muppets, and Wicked with a bunch of flying monkeys and a couple of witches. All superb. I dined in restaurants, on the street, ate pizza, bagel, hot dog, shish-kabob, schwarma, lamb pita, and cheesecake. I had the buffet at the revolving restaurant at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square – magnificent view. And now I have been to both Marriott Marquises, which is pretty darn cool, if I do say so myself.

I saw the Bacon Brothers live at B.B. King’s Blues Bar, partied at several nightclubs and bars, and hung out with the uber-rich at the St. Regis and the Plaza hotels. I did the three hour Circle Line cruise around the island, ate at Katz’s Deli on Houston, wandered through Greenwich village, the Financial District, Midtown, Hell’s Kitchen, Soho, Nolita, Litte Italy and Chinatown. I perused CDs in a record store on Bleeker Street while Bob Dylan played in the background, got interviewed on Wall Street, and landed a seat in the second row at the David Lettermen Show (the Don Rickles episode on October 15^th – you can just see me at the bottom right a couple times, if you squint).

I spent a fair bit of time in and around Rockefeller Center, did the NBC Experience, took the tour of Radio City Music Hall (saw a Rockette!), and watched the ice skaters in the famous rink (yes, there was ice, and no I don’t know how they do it when it’s warm out). Took in the New York Library and relaxed in Bryant Park. Saw Grand Central Station. Strolled through Battery Park, paused by Ground Zero, perused a great many books stores. The Strand in particular was amazing. No bibliophile should miss it.

All this to say, I had a pretty damn good time. And the people were super friendly, surprisingly. At least, surprising to me. New York has a reputation for being tough, but I found people there to be nothing but kind. Also, everyone looks like they belong in a movie. Don’t ask me what it is, but I felt it the moment I arrived. Like I was one of many extras in some movie that was being filmed, if only I could see the camera.

I can honestly say, I did what I set out to do, and so much more. It actually blows my mind what I managed to accomplish in two weeks. And I’ve omitted many of the coolest moments. So many of the best moments were the little, unexpected things – the street performers, the hustle, the friendly people, the tourists. Urban rapping in a bathroom in a hidden club in the middle of nowhere. Electric violin played in the subway tunnels. Hawkers calling out in perfect unison. Pigeons and street art and slick ads on billboards. Almost every moment had something interesting in it. I can barely even recall it all.

And so now I return back to reality. But it’s not so bad. Because I have no doubt – someday, I shall return to the Big Apple.

I can wait.

…And All of This Will Happen Again

2009-10-05T06:23:31Z

It’s the run up to New York. One week and a bit. And everything is going completely frakking nuts. As usual.

Last week…lets see…I had a dentist’s appointment, eye examination, vaccine (to complete a series I started for my trip to China – hurray for immunity), fasted, got new glasses, went to a life drawing class, and participated in the feeding frenzy that was the rush for Marriott rooms for Dragon*Con 2010. 2010! I’m planning two trips, one that happens in one week, and one that happens in one year. What’s wrong with this picture?

I’m up to my eyeballs in New York planning, and even though it’s not nearly as difficult to plan as China, there’s just too damn much to do in too little time. There’s simply no end to all the information that I need to absorb. And everyone seems to be have something that needs my attention RIGHT NOW. I love you all, but back the frak off.

I may not watch those Youtube links you sent me, or reply to your Facebook invites, or watch that movie you got me, but I’m still here, and things will return to normal after these commercial messages. Promise.

I am forgetting things. Like dates. And places. And words. I am forgetting whole words.

Sigh. Vacation time. Gets me every year, dammit.

My mind is fragmented, so this entry should be no exception.

Saw Zombieland. Absolutely fantastic. I think the opening credits may be the best five minutes of cinematography ever put on film. Seriously. The movie doesn’t necessarily bring any new twists to the zombie genre, but by God it has style. I want to be Woody Harrelson’s character. At least for a little bit.

Synopsis of my Thursday morning trying to reserve my Marriott room:

- Get onto the online system very close to the 8:00 EST starting point, when the rooms first become available. And they're off!
- Try to reserve Thurs-Mon. By the time I get to the checkout, the Thursday is unavailable.
-Manage to successfully reserve Fri-Mon instead.
-Phone main Marriott line. Wait on hold for a bit before getting through. They tell me the entire hotel is already sold out for that weekend. The entire…frakking…hotel. I persist and get them to give me the Passkey line.
-Phone Passkey line. Wait 30+ minutes to get through. Am told that the King bed rooms for Thursday are sold out, but she can get me a double bed room instead. Is that okay? I say, 'So that means that I have to change rooms after Thursday?' and she says 'Yes' and I say 'Sigh, fine, do it' and she says 'Whoops, sorry. Those are gone, too.' Sucks to be me.
-Try to change existing reservation to include the Thursday as well through the site. Fail and retry. Rinse and repeat.
-Thursday suddenly seems to be available. Skeptical, I proceed to the checkout.
-Get bizarre database error. Knew it was too good to be true.
-Close browser, start from scratch. Look at reservation. It now includes the Thursday. I check my email. I've received an email acknowledgment which includes the Thursday. Unbelievable. It actually worked.
- Head to work, already burnt out.

That was Thursday.

It is now Monday in the wee hours of the morning. I should be sleeping. I should be doing more New York research. My pile of Dragon*Con miscellany stares at me in recrimination. My books lie dejectedly against the wall, having given up on me long ago. I have photos somewhere that I should be uploading.

One more week. Almost there.

I’m having fun. I am.

Now where is my bed again? I know it's here somewhere...

And If I Can Make It There

2009-09-24T03:30:24Z

I am going to New York City.

Hotel booked. Flight booked. All that’s left are the gory details. Bloody hell, but I’m glad that’s done.

Been a busy month. After Dragon*Con, it seems like I’ve been on the go non-stop. Birthdays, anniversaries, work celebrations. Beer fests. You name it. And the planning for New York consumed most of the rest of my time.

Also my glasses decided to break last week. Spangggg is, I believe, the sound it made as it snapped. It was the day after the “we hit our target” work celebration, and I was more than a little hung over. It was also a Thursday morning.

I was a bit late for work that day.

So I’ve been wearing my faintly archaic contingency glasses. My cousin likes to call them my “Harry Potter” glasses. The first few days felt pretty weird, but I’m starting to get used to them. I may have my old ones back tomorrow. The optical centre says they’ve managed to repair them, but I’ll believe it when I…er, see it.

At any rate, with the main New York items off my plate and done, I now I feel like I have a small moment to pause and relax. Ahhhh.

But only for a moment. For there is still much to do and not enough time in the day.

Besides, let’s face it, if I wasn’t overloaded with things to do I probably wouldn’t even know what to do with myself.

There and Back Again

2009-09-11T07:46:34Z

Well, I’m back from Dragon*Con. I had soooo much fun, it’s crazy. I’m still in post-con mode, which is a little like being shellshocked by candy-coated bombs exploding with joy. Or something like that.

Before I forget, here are the highlights, in no particular order:

-The costumes. Duh, of course the costumes. Each year I think I can’t be surprised anymore, and each year I’m amazed at the creativity and variety of the costumes.

-William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and Patrick Stewart. Their panels were awesome. Stewart in particular seemed a bit taken aback by all the affection being heaped upon him.

-Meeting old friends and making new ones. I’m becoming more and more convinced that all the coolest people go to Dragon*Con.

-The concerts. They were uniformly awesome this year: Abney Park, the Cruxhadows, Ayria , Faith and the Muse. Jennifer Parkin of Ayria was obviously overwhelmed (and visibly a little flustered) by the audience’s enthusiasm, which was very sweet.

-Late night dances. These kept me up way past the time when I should have sensibly turned in for the night. But so much fun. I rarely dance, and never all by myself, but there was definitely some head bobbing action going on. At this rate I figure I’ll be making like Fred Astaire within the decade. Just you watch.

-Swag! The dealers rooms & exhibitors halls are like crack to me. Seriously. I can keep on going through the aisles for hours, always finding something else that’s shiny and cool. If I bought everything that caught my eye…well, there wouldn’t be much for everyone else, that’s all I’ll say.

-Comic Book Quick Sketch Contest. I won a prize, for best individual character! For my efforts, I have a really cool shiny plaque and some art swag. How cool is that?

-Sleep, I need it not. Every night I slept less than the night before. On Sunday, I didn’t sleep at all. I went from the late night dance to talking with some cool folks to taking a quick shower and a bite to eat, and then just in time to take in a panel. Things began to get a little frayed around the edges, and I’m not entirely sure if certain memories actually occurred or were merely hallucinations, but all in all it worked out rather well. And I stayed up late on Monday night too, and got up early on Tuesday morning because, well, in for a penny in for a pound, right?

-Farscape, B5 & BSG panels. These were all fantastic. I saw cast members I’d not seen before in person, and they were all quite engaging and interesting. There really was not a boring member in the bunch. Lots of fun was had reminiscing. A highlight was when a moderator showed the Farscape cast an old photo of Ben Browder from his football days. The expression on Ben’s face alone was priceless.

-Dressing up in costume for the first time. It was very different being on the other side of the costuming thing. It was hot and uncomfortable and no one wanted to take my picture and I really can’t wait to do it again next year. Bizarre, I know. But I really felt like I belonged. If I can figure out a way to add in a nuclear-powered air conditioning backpack, I might just be fine.

-Meeting some of the artists. This year I found myself talking to the artists more than in the past, which was great. I had some really fun conversations about everything under the sun.

-Wandering Atlanta. After Dragon*con is over, what else is there to do but explore the city itself? And I must say, I am growing more and more fond of Atlanta each year. The city really does have a vibrancy that I hadn’t noticed before, and that I’m not sure I’ve seen in another city. Downtown during the day is so alive that I could just wander around for hours doing nothing else. It's also a very beautiful and scenic city, which certainly doesn't hurt.

And that’s pretty much it. I’m sure I’ve forgotten lots of cool stuff – there was so much that happened in so small a time that my brain was overloaded for most of the weekend. So partial amnesia is to be expected. But whatever I’m forgetting, I’m sure that it was fun.

Anyway, today was my one day to do nothing but decompress, and it’s now way late. Time to go nighty-night.

And who knows. Perhaps I will dream of Dragon*Con...

Meet the Engineer

2009-08-24T03:15:08Z

T-11 days.

China Photos

2009-08-18T04:50:53Z

The photos from my trip to China have finally all been uploaded! You can see them here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eloketh/collections/72157608695211261/

I spent an unnatural amount of time sifting, merging, organizing and tweaking these photos. If you find that you like any of them please let me know so that I can, in some small way, justify my actions to myself : - )

On the whole, I am quite happy with how the photos came out.

Enjoy!

Sun

2009-08-13T01:55:13Z

And all I can think is: it’s about frakking time! : - )

Moon

2009-08-07T03:08:01Z

Just saw Moon starring Sam Rockwell.

Wow. Just wow.

Good science fiction in movies is so rare these days. Great science fiction...well, it's certainly been a while. I'd almost forgotten what it was like.

Brilliant, brilliant film. Not much action. Most of it is just one actor. No doubt a lot of 'regular' folks would be bored to tears. Must be why it's only showing at the local 'Indie' theatre. So sad.

Still, a miracle it got made at all, I suppose. A throwback (in the best sense of the word) to the thinking man's Sci-Fi of yesteryear. A wonderful little elegy to life, death, meaning, loneliness, and what it means to be human.

Unum Cum Virtute Multorum

2009-07-17T07:30:42Z

I have a costume.

That’s right. You heard me. For the first time ever, I will be bringing a costume to Dragon*Con. I have given in and decided to join the assembled masses in their sartorial madness.

The costume’s not flashy. Nothing lights up. Nothing really glows or sparks or makes noises. It certainly is not what you’d call ‘professional grade’. And it’s not as innovative or impressive as I would like.

But it’s mine. Oh yes. Muhahahaha.

It took me a bit of time to put together, finding a piece here and a piece there, but it’s pretty much done. I took home the last few pieces just today. I may add one more item to the ensemble. We'll see.

At this point, I haven’t had a chance to try it all on at once, so I’m still not sure exactly how it’s going to look all put together.

I sure hope it doesn’t suck.

Well, here’s hoping that I don’t look too foolish.

T-minus 48 days and counting…

The Board is Set. The Pieces are Moving.

2009-05-31T22:51:06Z

Just purchased my flights to Dragon*Con!

Is it wrong to feel excited this early?

The Voyage Continues

2009-05-11T05:47:22Z

My underground parking spot has been returned to me. The flood tides have receded. Now if only the temperature would stay above zero, then all would be right with the world. Wednesday was gorgeous. I walked to work without a coat, in short sleeves. The sun felt warm on my skin and the birds flitted across a bright blue sky. Saturday it snowed. Someone will be fired for this.

Caught the new Star Trek film. It pwns. Seriously. One couldn't ask for a more skillful reboot. It's well written, characters are recognizable without being slavish impersonations, and it shows proper respect to the source material. Plus, cool explosions. Slightly dismayed at Winona Ryder being cast as Spock's Mom. My first thoughts were, "Hey, Spock's mother is kind of...smoking hot." I feel a bit old.

A local sci-fi convention is coming up next weekend. My friends have convinced me to go this year. Now they’re all trying to play it down. “Don’t expect it to be Dragon*Con,” they're all telling me. Arg. My friends, thanks for the warning and all, but I’m not retarded. Really, all I’m hoping for at this point is some cool geek swag, a few pretty girls in costumes, and a metric crudload of alcohol.

A simple man, I am.

Oh, and I found this vid on the Intertubes. It brings me way back. This show was always on the French channel, so I never really understood any of it. But I understood the intro quite clearly.

Deluge

2009-04-16T04:13:40Z

This is what the underground parking lot in my apartment building looks like right now:

And this is where I park my car:

The local rivers are all overflowing their banks, leading to some very interesting and unfortunate scenes. There's sandbagging going on like crazy and some folks outside the city have even had to abandon their homes. Mother nature sure can be a bitch sometimes.

The bridges are fascinating. I've never seen water levels this high. The trees along the banks are slowly disappearing. The river paths have long since been swallowed up. Light standards stand mired in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by water all around. The current rushes past non stop, night and day, dragging with it pieces of ice and detritus. This has already been declared the second worst flood within the last 100 years.

As for me, I've been told there's a possibility that my building might have to be evacuated. That would be a big bummer all around. Hopefully, it won't come to that. I'm watching the river levels very carefully now, though.

Here's a few more photos for the curious.

The stairs to nowhere:

The incline to the lower level:

The new moat:

And the last bulwark against the rising tide:

Return to Reality

2009-03-22T21:46:01Z

So I’m back from Vegas.

Actually, been back for a little while, but I just couldn’t be bothered to update my journal. My head is still spinning a little from it all. We estimate that we did ten days worth of sight seeing and partying in four. We did everything we really wanted to do, plus a whole lot more. Not that there wasn’t stuff we had to cut out, but what we did achieve is impressive. Mission accomplished.

So what did we do? Let’s see. We did a thorough walkthrough of many of the casino/hotels on the strip, including Planet Hollywood, Paris, The Bellagio, Caesar’s Palace, MGM Grand, Excalibur, Bally’s, New York New York, The Luxor, The Venetian, The Mirage, Treasure Island, The Flamingo, The Stratosphere, and Circus Circus.

We saw Wayne Brady live, Zumanity, The Price is Right live show, and the Treasure Island ‘Sirens’ show.

We hit a number of nightclubs, including Tao, Privé, Pure, Drai’s, and the Playboy Club, and partied into the wee hours of the morning. We survived on 2-3 hours of sleep, and copious amounts of orange juice and ColdFX.

We saw Madame Tussauds wax gallery (way too much fun), the observatory at the Stratosphere, the Auto Collections antique car display at the Imperial Palace, did the Fremont Street experience, and shopped at Caesar’s Forum and the Miracle Mile shops.

Oh yes, and the food was damn good too. We ate at Margaritaville (restaurant, live entertainment and nightclub all rolled into one), the Paris Buffet, the Hawaiian Tropic zone, the Golden Nugget buffet, Johnny Rocket’s in the Venetian (hamburgers to die for), and Planet Dailies.

Finally, a certain amount of alcohol was consumed, the exact amount of which will not be stated here, if for no other reason than that we simply don’t remember.

Many pictures were taken, but it will be a while before I get them all uploaded. However, here is a sneak preview:

I can’t remember having so much fun. An absolute blast with good friends. What more can one ask for?

Spring is in the Air

2009-02-27T07:16:25Z

I don’t speak much on my writing here, partly because I write way too slowly, and partly because I’m not published and I hate to talk about stories that no one can read even if they wanted to, which is a big bummer all around.

But I have many, many ideas, and this seems to be the perfect place to broadcast some of them. In particular, I’ve been thinking about writing a romance novel. Here’s what I’ve written so far:

As he unclothed her naked silky flesh, her chatoyant skin reflected back the light of the moon like that of some undulant, exotic snake. Her tongue flickered in and out of his mouth, teasing him with its lubricious texture, her eyes like obsidian coals burning fiercely in the night.

He caressed her lithe body much like a gardener caresses his tools, firmly but gently. He was her gardener, and she was his hoe. The two clung together in the same way that bacon sticks to a non-stick fry pan, greasing each other up with their lust. He breathed in her strange musky odour with great relish as he nuzzled the inside of her right calf. He briefly mused about his stock picks and whether Ted at work would have the Mendelson report ready for him in the morning before whispering sweet meaningless vowels into her ear. She grabbed him fiercely by the nose and held him tightly, oh so tightly, until he finally had to ask her to stop.

It was true love. But…would it last?

So, what do you think? Do I have a future in the romance biz? I don’t wish to be boastful, but I seem to have a knack for this sort of thing. Who knows? This may very well be a best seller in the making.

What can I say? I guess I’m just an incurable romantic at heart.

The Ides of March

2009-02-16T07:48:51Z

I am going to Las Vegas.

There will be four of us partaking of this journey. One, a free spirit, a people magnet, a maker of instant friends, the live wire of the group. The second, a gentleman, honest and true, the ground wire, and our conscience. The third is our ringleader, bigger than life, a man not to be trifled with, but loyal to a fault to his friends, the man with the plan. And the fourth and last, a thinker and philosopher, a wanderer through the unseen places, an observer from the shadows.

We are set to spend four days and nights in this fabled city. Mid March. Four men in great need of a break from the banal, the everyday, the routine. Four, but of a single mindset.

Vegas is not ready for us.

There shall be great omens of our coming. Thunder will peal from a clear blue sky. The earth shall tremble. The creatures of the desert will flee in terror. And all the world will hold its breath.

Let those of weak constitution beware. A quartet of seasoned travellers from the Great White North shall soon venture forth with terrible boldness, to eat of your meats and drink your wine and tread the sand-scoured concrete and sun-tinted glass beneath our weathered boots. We will not be denied.

Our mirth and merrymaking shall be the stuff of legend.

You have all been warned.

Cold as the Space Between the Stars

2009-01-16T06:51:13Z

It's starting to feel a bit like winter...

Best. Video. Ever.

2008-11-21T02:56:40Z

This is my current favouritest YouTube video ever:

Every time I watch it, It just keeps getting better.

Wisdom Lost

2008-11-14T00:37:21Z

I got a wisdom tooth removed today. Just a few hours ago, actually.

It went quicker than I expected. A lot quicker.

The dentist had to freeze my mouth three times – three times! - because the first two times didn’t do the job well enough. The dentist would say, “Can you feel this?” And I’d say “Yup.” And he’d say “That’s no good.” And again with the needle. He seemed somewhat impressed by this: “You’re a tough guy to freeze.” What can I say? I’m a very sensitive guy.

I’m afraid that I’m not very good at pretense. As one friend told me, I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeve. The dentist and hygienist kept asking me if I was all right. I kept replying that I was, but they didn’t buy it. I tried my best to reassure them, but I guess I largely failed at hiding my anxiety. Well, I couldn’t help it. The idea of someone literally ripping out an intimate part of me just seems so…barbaric. It’s the 21st century, dammit. It’s supposed to be easier than this by now, surely. And I’m still waiting for my house robot. Actually, with the resurgence of TV series like Battlestar Galactica and the Terminator, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. A little dusting really isn’t worth the extermination of all humanity. Probably not, anyway.

So after confirming that my mouth was good and frozen, the dentist just went in there – really went for it – and wiggled and pulled and wrenched. I heard sounds that I have never heard before, especially from my own body. Crunching sounds. Oh yeah, good stuff. Not an entirely pleasant sensation, surprisingly enough.

But then all of a sudden, it was over. And I mumbled “that’s it?” although it’s likely they didn’t understand me, what with me having no feeling on the left side of my face.

So now I’m just waiting for the numbness to wear off. I was a bit afraid that after all that injecting, I would look like a stroke victim, but with the gauze in my mouth I look more like a deranged chipmunk without a sense of humour. Oh well.

I’ve got me some Advil and Aceteminophen, and a day off to enjoy them. What more could a man possibly want?

Ah yes. The pain is just starting to kick in now. Let the fun times begin...

The Dawn of a New Era

2008-11-09T19:02:07Z

I have a new profile pic:
http://flickr.com/photos/eloketh/3016562594/

Let us cast aside the weight of the old ways as we remake ourselves for a new and greater era.

Or something like that.

Eloketh Is

2008-11-08T08:05:27Z

I, like most of the population of the planet, am on Facebook. It is, for the most part, a convenient way to keep tabs on some of my friends. However, it is not all fun and games. Or rather, I should say that there is too much fun and games. There seem to be a remarkable number of ways to waste time on Facebook. That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. However, most of these diversions are remarkably devoid of any redeeming or useful qualities. They literally seem to exist solely to eat up vast quantities of time. As I already have plenty of productive and useful activities in my life, I rarely partake in these diversions, and never for very long.

That being said, there is one thing about Facebook I like more than everything else:

The status update.

Now, everyone else uses this feature to inform their friends of what they are doing at that moment in time, something that often includes such things as their desires, their fears or their pet peeves. While this is all well and good, that doesn’t really work for me. I have no interest in beaming the fact that I just stubbed my toe or that I have indigestion to all of my friends. They don’t need to know.

Then why do I like the status update so much, you might ask? Simple. Because it allows me to be…creative. My status updates often encapsulate a sort of truth, although not as most people see it, but as I see it. So you will not see “Eloketh is excited about his brand new puppy”, nor will you see “Eloketh has completely run out of paper towels”. Nope. My status updates are intended to entertain. Or to disturb. Either way works for me, really. My friends who know me well expect no less from me. And those who don’t know me…heh, well, serves the little buggers right for adding me just to increase the number of friends they have in a sad attempt of winning the “who has the most friends” contest. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t been defriended yet. Maybe I just have to work harder at it. I think I can do it. I have faith.

So now we get to the crux of this post: my favouritest status updates ever (and I’ll have you know, my friends, that favouritest is a perfectly cromulent word). Yes, I keep track of them. They make me happy. And now, you can be happy, too. Without further ado:

Eloketh…

is planning terrible revenge on the squirrels. They killed my hard drive. I know it. And they will pay. Oh, they will pay.

is painting himself a different shade of Eloketh

is building a better world, one puppy dog at a time. They stick.

is. He just is. Deal with it.

is hitting it with a baseball bat until it stops moving. Stop moving, dammit!

is flinging himself out the window because he can fly. He can fly, right?

is waking up and smelling the asphalt. Mmmmmmm. Asphalt.

is exploring the outer reaches of the infinite. They have a Starbucks.

is not sure what he’s eating. It tastes a bit like kitten.

is not your father’s Eloketh.

is finding himself. And then putting himself back where he found it.

is flinging bits of dirt at random passerby. But it’s MAGIC dirt, so it’s okay.

is launching a missile aimed somewhere vaguely to the east. They probably deserved it.

is lost. If you find him, do not approach, do not make eye contact. Inform the local authorities and turn yourself in for the requisite quarantine procedures.

is sacrificing a small turnip to the elder gods in exchange for the power to tolerate stupid people. The might of the elder gods isn’t quite what it used to be.

is waiting alongside dead Cthulhu, dreaming in his house at R’lyeh. Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fhtagn! Unfortunately, he doesn’t have cable. Plus he snores.

has vanquished evil in the name of truth, justice and a shitload of money. Hey, fighting evil ain’t cheap you know.

can’t find where he put it. Also he’s forgotten what it was and why he was looking for it in the first place. But when he finds it everything will be okay again.

sells seashells by the seashore. The money sucks. Big time.

has destroyed a small nation somewhere in the Pacific, and sunk it utterly into the depths of the vast, dark, unquenchable ocean. Ha! Teach them to send me spam.

has conquered a small galaxy near Andromeda and now rules with an iron fist. Drinks are on me.

has been disproven. Anything you may encounter contrary to this fact is purely a figment of your imagination.

Return from the Land of Dragons

2008-10-27T00:05:53Z

I am back.

What an odd and fascinating journey that was!

If I were to try to convey only one thing about China, it is this: it’s another planet. No, really. I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even close.

Let me attempt to elucidate.

At any given time on my trip, there were dozens of stories playing out in front of my eyes, so many things to look at I couldn’t begin to absorb it all. There are so many people there, it defies description and comprehension. It’s not just the number of people, but the sheer density. Absolutely mind-blowing.

And the traffic! Complete pandemonium. There is no such thing as right-of-way in China. Not for cars, and certainly not for pedestrians. I have been nearly run over by just about every form of road-based vehicle there is – and not just on the road. They drive on the sidewalks there, too. Without warning. Really. And they will not even so much as slow down if you’re in their way, much less stop. The rule of traffic is, the largest and most powerful object makes the rules.

The smog is everything everyone says, and more. In Beijing and Xi’an especially, it often reminded me of the tales of London’s notorious ‘pea-soupers’ circa the 1800s, places of form and shadow without substance. It has made me much more appreciative of the clean Canadian air at home.

And one last thing, in case you’re planning on travelling to China any time soon: they don’t speak English there. Oh, some of the employees at your hotel might. Your tour guide, if you’re lucky. And maybe you’ll bump into one or two people out on the street who can understand you…out of thousands. If you’re really lucky. But for the most part, though, once you’ve gone any distance away from your tour guide or your hotel, you are on your own in Planet China. And it is as wonderfully strange, exotic and fantastic a world as anyone could possibly hope to see.

China has been my most challenging trip so far, but what a trip it was. I hope to blog about it in the not too distant future. As for now, I’m still so jet-lagged that I’m not entirely sure what time it is or even exactly where I am.

But it’s good to be home.

To Live in Interesting Times

2008-10-09T01:51:22Z

The calm before the storm.

Hmm. Doesn’t feel it like it. Work had me busy until the very last moment, wherein I was forced to completely revamp the business plans I was working on.

Done packing for the most part, so that’s good. Printed everything out that needs to be printed. Ran out of printer paper, so I had to be a bit…creative.

So let’s see. Other than that, what interesting things did today bring to my attention?

The stock market is going up and down like an EKG on a heart attack victim.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper voiced a desire to abolish the senate. No, really.

Oh, and Cyberdyne systems is beginning mass-production on a robotic power suit called HAL.

No, I didn’t make that up, either: http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5g-anr2tCKPv3ntRKtFh3MYM8aOigD93LME4G1

It’s official. The world has gone mad.

And I’m going to China.

Hope the world is still here when I get back.